Foundlovebeyondallreason's Blog

Lil bit of lovin’!

foundlovebeyondallreason — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 05:49:46 +0000

Check out my friends blog…she is going to love on some little ones and it would be great if you could/would support her!

Joy, Hope and Everything in Between

www.hymanshouse.blogspot.com

Im Persuaded

foundlovebeyondallreason — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 05:26:53 +0000

“Are you persuaded?” “I’m persuaded” Sounds simple enough, but this morning in church, right after communion (which is one of my most precious times of the week) BeBe Winans was singing these lyrics…I would tell you to go and google them, but he wrote the song yesterday…literally! The song talks about being persuaded that the Lord loves us deeply and that he wants nothing more than for us to be persuaded by Him. I was singing along and clapping my hands….I mean you kinda have to when BeBe Winans is singing…and it really felt like this was exactly the word I needed to hear today. I have been struggling with being back at home and having no close friends near by, and the loneliness of not having a core group of friends in my life. While I was living in Missouri, I had some amazing friends and to be honest, they were my family away from home and now that I am home with my family, I miss them just as much as I missed my family when I was there. Sorry, a bit side tracked there…..but I really started thinking about my relationship with Jesus and how important it is to believe that He is my ultimate source of peace, joy, contentment, and truth. My best friend Jody loves the verse where Solomon writes in SOS “you have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace.” And recently, this verse has been on my heart and I have been trying as I might to believe it and after this morning at church, and singing “im persuaded” over and over again, I have fallen in love with my Jesus all over again. He is doing a great and mighty work in my life right now. I have been blessed to begin a graduate program way sooner than expected (start this coming Thursday….and wasnt supposed to start until January)….I have been given more responsibility at work, and a larger case load, which makes me just about full time…which most of you may or may not know has been a huge source of stress in my life for the last few months. And to think all of this going on around me and for a sweet, sweet moment this morning at church, my Jesus reached out and stirred my soul in a way that only he can. He reminded me that no matter what is going on around me and no matter how much stress I have, how lonely I feel at times, how insecure I am about myself and my abilities, that I have been and will be persuaded to love and follow Jesus. I know that I will not over night be a new person and I will no longer have struggles, but I do know that through Jesus, I can and will do great things!

Radical Relationships

foundlovebeyondallreason — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 20:29:37 +0000

Well….Ive been home for about 3 weeks now and I am finally starting to get into a routine. I have started work and am loving it! I love my living arrangements (with my sister, brother-in-law and nephew), and I am LOVING the weather! As I settle in, I am daily reminded of what I am missing….great friends, good fellowship, and amazing co-workers and students! I am gently reminded every day that it is an opportunity to reinvent myself and to make new friends and to get out there and do things! I was able to spend the weekend in San Diego with one of my longest and best friends Andrea. We were able to talk about old friends, new friends and life. It is so good to have a friend that is my age, and is in the same boat as me in many different areas of life. I went with her to her home church and was able to hear Jody Newberry speak (PBR championA) as well as the chaplain for the PBR (professional bull riders). They were talking about the Father and his love for his children…since it was fathers day and all…..I was humbly reminded of a few things that night! 1)It is so much more about a relationship with Jesus than it is about knowledge. 2)Radical encounters with Jesus are all to often overlooked for scriptural knowledge. 3)How can I show the love that the Father has for me if I don’t know it, understand it, and feel it? Now, please do not hear my say that Biblical knowledge is not good or necessary, what I am saying is that without the relationship, than all the knowledge means nothing. I love hearing stories of people who have had an encounter with my Jesus and who have been eternally changed. Jesus doesn’t want us to be a church full of people who have the most knowledge and the most scripture memorized. He wants us to be a church that has a relationship with Him and with those around us and in that we are then able to share the knowledge and scripture. This was something that really convicted me this weekend and I have every intention of really having a relationship with Jesus in order to better show His love to those around me!

bitter sweetness

foundlovebeyondallreason — Tue, 25 May 2010 02:51:59 +0000

Its all coming to an end…and very quickly…..as most of you know, I am moving back to CA this weekend and I am not sure where my emotions are right now….exicted, scared, sad, loved, and most of all, just in one big whirl wind. This weekend, I had a conversation with my dear friend Jody….we were sitting in a dark office getting things ready for youth..but wait, one thing you should know is that Jody and I have avoided the moving conversation at all costs because all it does is lead to crying….any way, back to the topic, she was telling me that she was designed and created to be tender-hearted and that she has a passion for and compassion for people, and so its okay to cry and to be emotional when it comes to people and relationships…in that moment, I realized that I too am tender-hearted towards people. We may feel this way towards different people groups, she has a heart for homeless and working poor people, and I have a heart fr children with Autism. None the less, we are both tender-hearted and I think that is what has made us such good friends over this last year and a half. We are so similar and so different. I have been having a very difficult time with accepting the idea that I wont be here much longer. I have cried and the most random times…while Im in the middle of a work session with one of my students, in the car driving home late at night, and while I lay in my bed praying that I would continue to follow the path that is set before me. I have also had some of the best times in the last week, games nights, dinner with friends, laughing, giggling, and eating chips in dip in bed watching reality TV! I am sad to leave behind the people that I have met and the relationships I have made, but I know that we all have a plan and I feel like I am on my way to figuring out where Jesus wants me. To my friends whom I have met here: Thank you for the amazing times, the laughs, the joys, the conversations, and most of all, you have shown me a side of Jesus that is hard to find in every day life! As I leave this place that I have called home for the last 3 years, I am going confidently in the direction that Jesus has called me to!

Dare to Love…

foundlovebeyondallreason — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 03:48:32 +0000

Dare to love COMPLETELY…..what exactly does completely mean? A few summers ago, I worked at a place that was filled with completely….I worked at Camp Barnabas….it is a camp specially designed for kiddos and adults with special needs. But this last few weeks, I have been really struggling with the completely part of daring to love. Love is a hard thing, I mean I love pizza, I love my favorite pair of jeans, I love my_________, fill in the blank, but none of those things require a complete, undeserved, unreserved, unconditional love. While I was working at Camp Barnabas, I would sneak Dove chocolates that had little messages on all of the wrappers, and the one wrapper that hit me the hardest said “dare to love completely.” That summer I was challenged and encouraged to love people completely. I was blessed to be around people that showed me and encouraged me to love completely….one of them, I am still best friends with and to this day, I am amazed that I have a deep, genuine and true friendship with him. Sean and I have only spent a total of 5 weeks together in the same place in the last 3 years, but he has taught me how to love completely and how to invest in people even if it means getting hurt, he taught me in a very big way how to love completely….thanks Sean! I mean I love people and I love certain things about people, but I don’t always love the whole person, there are things that annoy me and bug me and make me want to walk away….we aren’t perfect and so I feel okay saying that. Tonight at church, Troy talked about they way that we love others, and how to shout with your mouth shut….well, what I took away from that was the way I love others is the way that I ultimately love Jesus. I am desperately trying to have an unreserved, unconditional, unreserved love for those around me….in the same way that Jesus loves me and the way that I should in return love Jesus…..but its not easy, I struggle….a lot. I sometimes think, well when I find a future mate, I will know unconditional love, when I _______ (again fill in the blank) then I can love completely, but the truth is, how can I love completely, when I can’t even accept the love the Father has for me. I know that I have a heavenly father that has this kind of love for me and my hope is that I can one day exude this love to every person that I come in contact with. I work with some pretty awesome kiddos, and each and every day, they show me unconditional love, some of them have minimal language, but by their actions, I know they are showing love….so, in this next few days, I am going to try and show my love, unconditional, unreserved and undeserved, love by my actions and the way that I treat those around me. May my actions reflect the Fathers love. “Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on it. Love makes up for practically anything” 1peter4:8

IM MOVING!

foundlovebeyondallreason — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 18:05:51 +0000

Hey ya’ll……I know, its been a while, but I thought that I would write a little blog to update you on whats going on in my life these days….

As most of you know, I went home to California over Christmas, and spent some time with my family. On the plane ride, I had a few thoughts….’I should cut my hair’ and ‘why am I spending so much time and money to travel to see the people in my life who are most important to me?’ So the first thought…about cutting my hair, became a reality about 3 days into my trip, I cut about 6 inches off and dyed it dark brown….the second thought wasn’t that easy to process.

You see, I moved to Missouri about 2 1/2 years ago during a time in my life where I needed a change, I needed to get out of my comfort zone and make it on my own. It started out as a summer…working for Camp Barnabas as the camp photographer, and then I thought hmm…if I find a job, I will stay. The Lord provided a job and a place to live, so I stayed. For the last 2 1/2 years I have had the opportunity to work with some pretty amazing kiddos at my job as a teacher for children with Autism…they have definitely changed my life in so many ways. Through my work, I was able to gain some experience and some confidence to know that I can do this job anywhere and know that I am making a difference.

Along with the job, I have found one of the most amazing churches ever….I know, I might be bias, but I feel like as soon as I walked through the doors of North Point Church, I was home….I have met so many friends that will forever be treasured, and visited often! I have been able to work with the High School Students, which has also been a blessing for me….in the process of becoming a youth leader, I was surprised to meet someone who I now consider my best friend….we are more like sisters than friends, but none the less, she has been monumental in my life….I love you jo jo! Everyone that meets us either thinks that we are sisters, or that we have known each other forever…not the case, just a divine friendship.

So, my trip went on…and the days wore on, and with the encouragement of my family…mostly my sister….I seriously considered moving back to CA….I spent a lot of time praying about it and seeking the Lord for his will for my life, and I knew what I needed to do. I needed to move back home to be with family. I will be moving in July and living with my sister and brother-in-law…..

With that said, I do not discount the time that I have had here, it has been necessary and an integral part of my spiritual growth and personal growth as well. One of the friends that I made while I have been living here has shown me how to be a super mom, how to make lemonade when given lemons, how to love unconditionally, how to share everything, and most importantly, she has been my mom away from home and I know that we will have a forever friendship….Thank you Rachel!!

It will be a big step for me and a lot of logistics to move back across country, but its a challenge I am willing to take on, in fact, I will be road tripping it with my sister and possibly my mom….some much needed girl time!!

There you have it, IM MOVING..back to back to Cali Cali….

Africa

foundlovebeyondallreason — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 03:06:22 +0000

Africa. More specifically Uganda, Africa. For those of you who dont know, I recently (Wednesday) applied for a job in Uganda, Africa. I applied for a job as Head of Unit for an orphanage called Baby Watoto. Some of you may have heard of Watoto, they are an amazing organization….check them out on the web if you want to know more about them. For the last 10-11 years, I have felt called to Africa. I never really knew when, why, how or in what capacity I would be blessed to be involved with Africa, but the desire has been there. This was a HUGE step for me….for the longest time, I said well I would go for a summer, for a week, two weeks…..but never did I think that I would be ready to go for a year or a few years, but when this web search came up last week, I really felt the Lord telling me apply….so in faith I stepped out and applied….for me this was huge, I have opened my heart and said, “Jesus, I am all yours. Do what you will and open or close the doors as you see fit.” So in being faithful, and scared, and unsure, I have applied. You must know that through out high school and college, I read books, did research, looked at photos and even at one point wanted and tried to go on a short term mission trip, but time and schedules didnt work out. So, last week, I sat on my chair in the living room…. and my heart was pounding, my body was shaking with excitement and my heart was telling me that I would be blessed for simply allowing Jesus to work in my life and that as long as I was in the Will of God, I would not be dissappointed in applying. I feel as though this has been the most powerful week for me in quite some time….I have prayed more than I have in a long time, I have sought the Lord and His word more, and I have been at complete peace with the entire situation. In fact, I have written on my mirror in my bedroom, a few verses that I have been praying over and been really leaning on them this week. I would covet your prayers in this situation, it is exciting and overwhelming all at the same time. I am very lucky to have the support of my friends and my family about this amazing opportunity! Thanks guys!!

Success???

foundlovebeyondallreason — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 04:39:00 +0000

This past weekend, I had a very long and encouraging conversation with a very dear friend of mine about the reality and the expectations of the world on children in today’s society ….most if not all of you reading this blog know that I work with children with special needs, mainly Autism, but none the less….they are a little bit more special than the average person. They have a joy about life that some of us will NEVER understand or experience…in this most recent conversation, we talked about happiness and true joy in life….why is it that the world tells us that in order to be happy and to have joy, we must be “successful” and make tons of money? Why is the definition of success, money? You see, not every person in this world is going to make tons of money and most of the ones that do, are miserable. I know that each and every one of the children that I work with and come into contact with will make it in this world…they may not be successful the way the world thinks they should, but who is to say that driving a garbage truck won’t make someone just as happy as owning a business or being a doctor…..I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am going to do what I can to teach children that happiness is only measured within oneself, and what makes you happy, not what the world tells you is happiness. People may read this and think that I don’t think any of my students will be a doctor or a lawyer….that is ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE! I want every child (my student or not) to be successful and to experience all that life has to offer whether that means being a doctor or a lawn mower, but lets be honest and real, who knows what a child is going to grow up to be when they are 3, 4, 5 or even 6 years old. So why, why, why do we place expectations on children to be successful and make a lot of money? Isn’t that a lot of pressure? As a 26 year old its too much pressure for me to handle! I have a job right now that some people do not see as important or successful because I don’t make a 6 figure income…WRONG….if I don’t fight for my students and teach them all that I can…who will? I’m not trying to be arrogant, there are others that I work with that feel the exact same way, I know that I’m not the only one who loves what I do! I have hope and I believe that each and every one of the children that I have come into contact with over the last 5 years will experience success that can never be measured or compared to those around them. The conversation that I was having with my dear friend, reminded me that we need to allow everyone (children and adults alike) to pursue happiness without the pressure and expectation of what the world counts as success….so with that said, I am going to use each and every moment that I am given with my students and those around me to show them happiness and to help them achieve their maximum potential so that they may one day be able to share that success with those around them.

I am, and have worked with, a population of students that most would not choose to, I have been called to these children in a very real and genuine way, and for me, they are the reason I get up in the morning and the reason that I spend each and every day finding new and different ways to teach. They may never know what an impact they make on my life, and I hope that I have made life even the slightest bit easier for them!

They told me to do it….

foundlovebeyondallreason — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 21:34:32 +0000

So…I was sitting here with my roommate Lindsay and bff Jody and they told me that I should blog about….being single….so here goes….why is it that people find it necessary to “hook me up” or to “find me a man” or to take me out for a “crazy night” filled with beer and sex? Along with that, why is it necessary for Facebook to have a gazillion ads along the side of my homepage for ways to find a mate…is that because I have my status as single on facebook? Who cares??? I am single and I am okay with it. I know that in right time, I will find someone and be happy…but for now, why is the pressure there to find someone NOW?? As I sit at work and have lunch table conversations with my co-workers, I am reminded that although they are more experienced in the realm of dating, is that really what I want for myself. Yeah, I struggle with being single, but I also know that what I have to give someone, it far greater in worth than some drunken night that I am sure to regret. I don’t want to settle and give up everything that I have believed and hoped for in one night. They way I look at it, I have lived 26 years without giving up my morals, my standards, my jenn code (thanks jo), and the biggest part of myself that I can only give away one time. I love the fact that I am able to be so strong in who I am and be okay with the choices that I have made. I would not trade it for the world…I am not missing out on anything, I promise. Some days are harder than others and I don’t always understand why….I do understand that I have been given this opportunity to serve and mentor in a way that may not be possible if I were married or in a relationship. With all that said, I am okay being single and living my life serving a great God….and besides that, I have some of the most amazing, talented, encouraging and crazy best friends in the world….we keep each other in check, we have fun together, and more importantly, they make me love Jesus more and more every day! There you go Jody and Lindsay…I wrote a blog just for you….for more on this subject, check out Jody’s blog at seekingrecklessabandon.wordpress.com

New to this!!

foundlovebeyondallreason — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 22:48:55 +0000

Hello everyone, I am starting a blog….mostly because I have a few friends that do it and I think that it would be cool to have something to share with my family and friends…this will be a place where I share my thoughts, my fears, my struggles, my joys, and encouragement!! I hope that you enjoy this place and get a good laugh or two from the stories I tell and also that you would see the love and grace and truth of who I am in Jesus. So, for today, I am just trying to figure out this whole blogging thing!! Stay tuned for more to come!!!